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loveyourshadow
08 May 2011 @ 02:27 pm


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loveyourshadow
02 June 2010 @ 11:36 pm

You were my sun.

I was a planet. A little, insignicifcant, almost-a-moon, planet. And I revolved around you. You were literally, the centre of my universe. There were lots of other planets following you- prettier, bigger, better planets. But I still obsessively, devotedly, obediently followed you. Because I loved you. And everything you were and stood for. You were my sun. You shined bright on everything. You lit up my planet. You gave me heat when it was cold. You gave me plants and animals and rainbows and everything necessary for life. You gave me life. And everything that comes with that. It's a simple statement, but has so much meaning behind it. You gave me what I needed to live. I revolved around you endlessly and you gave me life.

And then you vanished.

There was one last beautiful sunny day, the best day in my small world's history and your light dazzled me one last time. And then, suddenly, like having a limb hacked off by a chainsaw- you were gone. Vanished. I blinked and I could still see the light from behind my eyelids. I opened them and you were gone. No light. No warmth. Just cold empty space. Nothing else. The only proof you even existed was the orbit I still hopelessly moved in. Even when there was no gravatational pull left, nothing to keep me in the orbit, nothing to follow, I still did. Out of dedication. Out of habbit. Out of hope; hope that you'd come back. I kept going, because there was no other choice. Everyone and everything told me you weren't coming back. But I still believed. I still believe, because. Because your my sun. And if I can't be sure of the sun, then what can I be sure of?

And that's where I am now. I am a planet without a sun. Just circling empty space. Clinging to that emptiness, those old habbits, this tired and true journey, because that's all I have left of you. The memories and the habbits. And I can't let go. I need you. I need you so badly, it makes me sick. I'm wasting away. My lands are cold and barren. The flowers have shrivelled. The animals are sick and dying. Rainbows are nothing more but myths now. There is no sunrise, no promise that the darkness will end. There is nothing in the distance to keep going for, to keep living for. It's never-ending night now. I've never felt so alone. So isolated, even when I'm surrounded by other lonely planets stuck in they're orbits too. Not that they'll last long anyways. They'll give up. But I won't. I'll never give up. I will keep circling this emptiness until you come back. Please come back sun.

You were my star. My beautiful star, that saved me from an empty life, a meaningless existence. I've watched you shine, brighter than anyone could have known, even you. I've wished away so many wishes on you. Had so many dreams about you.
And now I'm watching you become a black hole. I orbit around your scattered remains, just debris and victims from your supernova. From when you collapsed in on yourself. Nothing has ever felt so painful. I didn't see it coming. I didn't see it, at all. I never would have guessed. I was so blinded by your light, I never would have seen or believed that you were falling apart from the inside out. Sometimes that's all I can think about. The why. Why did you collapse? What gave? Why did you have to end?
They'll be a black hole here soon. An empty void of light and love where such a promising star once shone. They'll be nothing left. Just a black hole. And slowly it will suck all the survivors left in your solar system into it. The most devoted will perish first, as they're the ones still nearest to you.

But I keep orbiting. Because it's all I have left.

And I hope I'm here when the blackhole finally forms. I'm tired of this hopeless journey over and over. I'm so sick of living this lie. Of pretending your coming back, of endlessly keeping up appearances. This orbit means nothing. Nothing, without you here at the centre of it. I've lost hope you will magically appear again, and save me from the darkness. Your light is gone. And I want to be gone. So I keep orbiting now, not just out of habbit and hopeless hope, but now I keep going to await an end I'm praying comes soon. Bring me the blackhole. It's better than this endless and painful pergatoury of circling nothing. I want an end to my orbit. 

If there is to be no more light, than let the darkness swallow me once and for all. 

For there is no light, without you.
 
 
loveyourshadow
04 February 2010 @ 12:25 am

I can't believe what you said to me
Last night when we were alone
You threw your hands up
Baby you gave up, you gave up

I can't believe how you looked at me
With your James Dean glossy eyes
In your tight jeans, with your long hair
And your cigarette stained lies

Could we fix you if you broke?
And is your punch line just a joke?

I'll never talk again
Oh boy, you've left me speechless
You've left me speechless, so speechless

And I'll never love again,
Oh boy you've left me speechless
You've left me speechless, so speechless


I can't believe how you slurred at me
With your half wired broken jaw
You popped my heart seams
On my bubble dreams, bubble dreams

I can't believe how you looked at me
With your Johnnie Walker eyes
He's gonna get you and after he's through
There's gonna be no love left to rye

And I know that it's complicated
But I'm a loser in love
So baby raise a glass to mend
All the broken hearts
Of all my wrecked up friends


I'll never talk again
Oh boy you've left me speechless
You've left me speechless so speechless

I'll never love again,
Oh friend you've left me speechless
You've left me speechless, so speechless

How?
Wow

And after all the drinks and bars that we've been to
Would you give it all up?
Could I give it all up for you?

And after all the boys and girls that we've been through
Would you give it all up?
Could you give it all up?

If I promise boy to you
That I'll never talk again
And I'll never love again
I'll never write a song
Won't even sing along


I'll never love again
So speechless
You left me speechless, so speechless
Why you so speechless, so speechless?

Will you ever talk again?
Oh boy, why you so speechless?
You've left me speechless so speechless

Some men may follow me
But you choose "death and company"
Why you so speechless? Oh oh oh...

 
 
loveyourshadow
02 February 2010 @ 10:25 pm
If we walk away now
There's no turning around
Gotta say what I mean
While you're here with me
I'm not sure I'll find words
To cover the hurt
That I see in your eyes
But I gotta try

I know rocks turn to sand
And hearts can change hands
And you're not to blame
When the sky fills with rain
But if we stay or walk away
There's one thing that's true
I still love you
I still love you

Can you search down inside
Let go of your pride?
If I forget trying to win
And just let you in
I didn't travel this far
To watch it all fall apart
So give me your hand
And take a chance

I know rocks turn to sand
And hearts can change hands
And you're not to blame
When the sky fills with rain
But if we stay or walk away
There's one thing that's true
I still love you


Riding with me as close as before
Whatever happens, I won't ask for more (I'll always ask for more)
Here in my heart from now 'til the end
Flame out or fly, we have to try again

I still...

I know rocks turn to sand
And hearts can change hands
And you're not to blame
When the sky fills with rain
But if we stay or walk away
There's one thing that's true
I still love you
Yeah, I still love you

If we stay or walk away
There's one thing that's true
I still love you

I still love you







Song: I still love you
Artist: Alexz Johnson
 
 
loveyourshadow
02 February 2010 @ 03:50 pm
The world ended today.

I have nothing left.
 
 
 
loveyourshadow
27 January 2010 @ 11:59 pm
"So this is how liberty dies. To thunderous applause."
 
 
loveyourshadow
06 January 2010 @ 07:24 pm
I JUST APPLIED TO COLLEGE.

THIS IS A MONUMENTAL MOMENT.

I AM GROWING UP.

WOW.
 
 
loveyourshadow
16 December 2009 @ 11:21 pm
Happy Folie a Deux one year anniversry<3
Great album, and a great year.

http://twitpic.com/tqljm
 
 
loveyourshadow
02 December 2009 @ 10:46 pm
Me and alot of people have been getting all nostalgic for diaster (see what I did there lol?) this whole week... I can't believe FAD is almost a year old. It boggles my mind. So much has happened in the last year.
It's probably been the best year of my life, and I can without a doubt say, it was 98% because of this band. I saw them 8 times in the last year. I travelled more than my entire life because of them. They gave me an excuse to finally just go. I met so many amazing people. (Some of you are reading this<3) I can't even... just so much. They gave me so much.
And now this year's over, (although I can't lie- the year felt like it ended at the MSG show, when they walked off stage...a chapter closing) and it's hard to let it go. Because it was so awesome. And next year is just one big question mark for me right now. But I have faith, like I do with NOTHING else in my life, that no matter what's going to happen to me next, that they will be back, and I'll still be here. When the time comes, everything will be different, and I'll be in a different city, with a different life, but the one thing that will never change, and will always be here, is the way the music makes me feel. How the words saved me. Why this all began. And as scared as I am for next year, at least I'll always have that in my back pocket for rainy days.
 
 
loveyourshadow
02 December 2009 @ 06:55 pm
I love this icon so much.