You were my sun.
I was a planet. A little, insignicifcant, almost-a-moon, planet. And I revolved around you. You were literally, the centre of my universe. There were lots of other planets following you- prettier, bigger, better planets. But I still obsessively, devotedly, obediently followed you. Because I loved you. And everything you were and stood for. You were my sun. You shined bright on everything. You lit up my planet. You gave me heat when it was cold. You gave me plants and animals and rainbows and everything necessary for life. You gave me life. And everything that comes with that. It's a simple statement, but has so much meaning behind it. You gave me what I needed to live. I revolved around you endlessly and you gave me life.
And then you vanished.
There was one last beautiful sunny day, the best day in my small world's history and your light dazzled me one last time. And then, suddenly, like having a limb hacked off by a chainsaw- you were gone. Vanished. I blinked and I could still see the light from behind my eyelids. I opened them and you were gone. No light. No warmth. Just cold empty space. Nothing else. The only proof you even existed was the orbit I still hopelessly moved in. Even when there was no gravatational pull left, nothing to keep me in the orbit, nothing to follow, I still did. Out of dedication. Out of habbit. Out of hope; hope that you'd come back. I kept going, because there was no other choice. Everyone and everything told me you weren't coming back. But I still believed. I still believe, because. Because your my sun. And if I can't be sure of the sun, then what can I be sure of?
And that's where I am now. I am a planet without a sun. Just circling empty space. Clinging to that emptiness, those old habbits, this tired and true journey, because that's all I have left of you. The memories and the habbits. And I can't let go. I need you. I need you so badly, it makes me sick. I'm wasting away. My lands are cold and barren. The flowers have shrivelled. The animals are sick and dying. Rainbows are nothing more but myths now. There is no sunrise, no promise that the darkness will end. There is nothing in the distance to keep going for, to keep living for. It's never-ending night now. I've never felt so alone. So isolated, even when I'm surrounded by other lonely planets stuck in they're orbits too. Not that they'll last long anyways. They'll give up. But I won't. I'll never give up. I will keep circling this emptiness until you come back. Please come back sun.
You were my star. My beautiful star, that saved me from an empty life, a meaningless existence. I've watched you shine, brighter than anyone could have known, even you. I've wished away so many wishes on you. Had so many dreams about you.
And now I'm watching you become a black hole. I orbit around your scattered remains, just debris and victims from your supernova. From when you collapsed in on yourself. Nothing has ever felt so painful. I didn't see it coming. I didn't see it, at all. I never would have guessed. I was so blinded by your light, I never would have seen or believed that you were falling apart from the inside out. Sometimes that's all I can think about. The why. Why did you collapse? What gave? Why did you have to end?
They'll be a black hole here soon. An empty void of light and love where such a promising star once shone. They'll be nothing left. Just a black hole. And slowly it will suck all the survivors left in your solar system into it. The most devoted will perish first, as they're the ones still nearest to you.
But I keep orbiting. Because it's all I have left.
And I hope I'm here when the blackhole finally forms. I'm tired of this hopeless journey over and over. I'm so sick of living this lie. Of pretending your coming back, of endlessly keeping up appearances. This orbit means nothing. Nothing, without you here at the centre of it. I've lost hope you will magically appear again, and save me from the darkness. Your light is gone. And I want to be gone. So I keep orbiting now, not just out of habbit and hopeless hope, but now I keep going to await an end I'm praying comes soon. Bring me the blackhole. It's better than this endless and painful pergatoury of circling nothing. I want an end to my orbit.
If there is to be no more light, than let the darkness swallow me once and for all.
For there is no light, without you.